Here is a quote from Alan Watts.

"Life must be played by ear -- which is only to say that we must trust, not symbolic rules and
linear principles, but our brains or natures. Yet this must bring one back to the
faith that nature makes no mistake. In such a universe a decision which results in one's
own death is not a mistake: it is simply a way of dying at the right moment."

"But nothing can be right in a universe where nothing can be wrong, and every perception is
an awareness of contrast, of a right/wrong, is/isn't, bright/dark, hard/soft situation. If this is
the very nature of awareness, any and every circumstance, however fortunate, will have to be
experienced as a good/bad or plus/minus in order to be experienced at all. By such reflections
I think myself into silence and, by writing, help others similarly spellbound by thoughts and
words to come to silence -- which is the realization that a linear code cannot justly represent
a nonlinear world. But this intellectual silence is not failure, defeat, or suicide. It is a return to
that naked awareness, that vision unclouded by commentary, which we enjoyed as babies in
the days when we saw no difference between knower and known, deed and happening. This
time, however, we are babies reborn -- babies who remember all the rules and tricks of
human games and can therefore communicate with other people as if we were normal adults.
We can also feel, as a just-born baby cannot, compassion for their confusions."

"Now, from the standpoint of the wise-baby the
confusions of the normal adult world
cannot be straightened out without becoming even more confused.
There is no
solution except to regain the baby's vision and so realize that the confusions are not really
serious, but only the games whereby adults pass the time and pretend to be important. Seen
thus, the world becomes immeasurably rich in color and detail because we no longer ignore
aspects of life which adults pass over and screen out in their haste after serious matters. As
in music,
the point of life is its pattern at every stage of development, and in a world
where there is neither self nor other, the only identity is just
This -- which is all, which is
energy, which is God by no name."

I was heart-broken when I realized there was no one, in particular, to have a heart to be
broken.

I think that this is wonderful, but most of those that I recommend this to, reject it.

The message comes into the system, knocks around a bit, does its work, then is expelled.
The next time that the message is revisited, there is less resistance, because there is more
of a capacity or readiness to hear. The "me" does not want to hear the message of This,
because it is excluded; no more "meanness."

There is a feeling of hopelessness in this.

It will pass into something quite wonderful (the absence of un-wonderful). I would say,
"Trust me on this one," but I have already suggested otherwise. In the Tantric tradition,
Liberation is described with the phrase,
"immanence without hope." Whatever happens,
happens with no hope of it being otherwise. This shines a whole new light on "no hope"
(double negative). It's a good thing.




What we want the most is to not be afraid. What we don't want the most is for there to be
no us to not be afraid. We cannot want to be No One because Who would want it? No One
to be afraid is our greatest fear and there is No One to be afraid.

Seekers think that they are ready for anything... but not for Nothing. "No One" is ready for
Nothing.

This is a bit like losing your glasses, spending hours looking for them, only to find that they
were on your face all along. And then, realizing that without them on, you could not have
seen where they were not.

Here is a quote from Douglas E. Harding.

"Occasionally, you enjoy moments of truly infinite expansion, when your heart goes out in
love for everyone and everything, when you throw your arms so wide they embrace the whole
world, and there remains not a dust-grain that is not forever You. Then at last you are
Yourself, all there, complete. It's not that you feel like the Whole but for the Whole. You are
just that.
For only the Whole can feel Whole. Such tremendous moments are not to be had
at will. They come, if at all, by grace and quite unheralded. Much more familiar is the polar
opposite of this mood of supreme exaltation, namely the mood of contraction or nullity, of
depression to the point of annihilation. You feel that you have nothing, know nothing, can do
nothing, are nothing. And the remarkable thing about this feeling, when it is complete, is that
it isn't a miserable one. Rather, it is a feeling of total surrender and profound peace. For if
you are Nothing, nothing can hurt or disturb you. Moreover, nothing remains to separate you
from anyone or anything. All your resistance is gone, you are ready to be invaded and taken
over by your Source."  

We take ourselves very seriously, and we take it very seriously when we are not taken
seriously (separately).
                                      
The Testarians

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Phil. Now, Phil had been seeking for over 40 years,
and had tried everything. He sat with Gurus, tidied-up in ashrams, and practiced everything
that came along. By his own guesstimation, he had tried and failed 7,999 times, and Nothing.
He was about ready to give up when he heard about an old, dope-smoking hippie named
Skeeter who was known as the "last resort." He decided to give it one last try, so he went to
see Skeeter. Phil told his laborious story and Skeeter said, "I got it! You need to stick needles
into your testicles." Phil said, "Oh no! That sounds horrible, " and Skeeter said, "Well, yeah!
But, it's the last resort." Phil said, "Well, OK," and went home and proceeded with his new
practice. After several weeks, "Something" happened, so he gathered his many friends, who
were in the same predicament, and told them what they needed to do. They said, "Oh, no!
That sounds horrible," but agreed to give it a try. They set up a cathedral, had appropriate
chairs designed, and used special needles made of precious metals, with crystals on the
handles and inert gases inside. They named themselves the "Testiculars."

One day some women came to Phil and asked what they should do. He said, "You need to
stick needles into your ovaries." They said, "Oh, no! That sounds horrible." Phil said, "Well,
yeah, but it's the last resort." They said, "Well, OK," and proceeded with their own chairs and
appropriately designed needles. They named themselves the "Ovarians." One day Phil decided
to put the Testiculars and the Ovarians together and formed the "Testarians."

The moral of this story is two-fold, with the first confusion leading to the second. Phil naturally
thought that he had succeeded for the first time, when actually, he had failed for the 8,000th
time. The second confusion was that he was going to teach success based on his failure,
which obviously can't be done. Once Phil realized that
"Nothing" had happened, he gathered
everyone together and said, "Abandon the System," and they went home, and lived ever after.

This writing seems a bit negative to me.

It may certainly seem that way, but negation is actually positive. The phrase, "The way out is
through," (or, as I prefer, "The way in is through.") has been used by many communicators
for eons, including Meher Baba and Carl Jung. The "way to" Heaven (Here) is certainly not
through Heaven (Here). "Way to" indicates transition, and there is no transition from Here to
Here. We must go through Hell, but fortunately, we already have. There is no future in "This."
Hell is Both, which indicates two and there aren't. I always get in trouble for saying this,
but, other animals, and unseparated infants, don't suffer. They feel pleasure, most certainly,
and they feel pain, absolute-ly, but not both. Both is for us split-minded (separated) humans
who are here just to Raise Hell on Earth. It can't be other...wise.

Are you actually saying that we are not doing what we do?

We are not "doing" it, or "not" doing it. Sounds like one thing, doesn't it?

Thirty-three years ago I read the phrase, "Man cannot do," in a Peter Ouspensky book, joined
a Gurdjieff/Ouspensky group, then spent the next 15 years trying to "do" something about
"Man cannot do." Sounds like a waste of time, but it wasn't because there isn't. It brought
about a whole lot of wonderful disappointment and humiliation.

It seems that there are three levels of dis-appearance.
1) Man cannot do, or, we are not the doer;
2) There is no one to do or not do;
3) There is no such thing as doing, because, Who?

Last Friday night, after reading the nonotgod website for the third time, I became hysterical.
It was the strangest thing, because it was a combination of laughing and crying, for no
reason, and with no subject. It lasted about 20 minutes and then stopped very abruptly.
Freaked my husband out, but it sure was fun.

"It" is hysterical. "No doubt" about "It."

Isn't It really all about our trying to get external validation that we have it "going on,"
because deep down inside, we know that we don't?

Liberation is the end of external validation. If it isn't internal, doubtless, separation-less
wonderment, then it isn't. It's Nothing and All. It isn't duality because it is or isn't, not
either/or. Even praying (metaphysical panhandling*) is seeking external validation, because
we think It is outside of ourselves, bigger than ourselves, more important than ourselves,
better than ourselves, and definitely, has more control than ourselves.
(
*Tom Robbins)             

We are obsessed with something (anything) happening to cover being depressed about
"Nothing" happening. Obsession is the active counterpart to depression.

There is no God because there is no Notgod. Our minds cannot have a concept about
anything, without an opposite to set it apart (separate it). As
Tony Parsons has pointed out,
"This, as it is, is all there is."

Anyone appearing to be more godly than not, is identified with appearing to be more godly
than not.

Why is it that Spiritual Seeking is the one thing that we joyfully admit being slow at? We don't
go around advertising that we have not passed the Bar exam for 40 years. We are proud of
our failure, because deep down inside we know that success means kissing our Ass goodbye.


                   



                                

                                              Continued on more3

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